TELEGRAM #1

A daughter sends a telegram to her father on her clearing B.Ed
exams, which the father receives as :
"Father, your daughter has been successful in BED."

TELEGRAM #2
A husband, while he is on a business trip to a hill station sends a
telegram to his wife: "I wish you were here."
The message received by wife: "I wish you were her."

TELEGRAM #3
A wife with near maturing pregnancy goes to railway station to
return to her husband. At the reservation counter, while her turn
came, it was the last ticket.
Taking pity on a very old lady next to her in the queue, she offered her
berth to the old lady and sent a telegram to her husband which reached as:
"Shall be coming tomorrow, heavy rush in the train, gave birth to an old
lady."

TELEGRAM #4

A man wants to celebrate his wife's Birthday by throwing a party.
So he goes to order a birthday cake. The salesman asks him what message he
wants to put on the cake. Well he thinks for a while and says: let's put,
"you are not getting older you are getting better". The salesman asks "how
do you want me to put it?" The man says, Well put "You are not getting
older", at the top and "You are getting better" at the bottom. The real fun
didn't start until the cake was opened the entire party watched the
message
decorated on the cake:

"You are not getting older at the top, You are getting better at the
bottom".

TELEGRAM #5

An 85 year old lady died a virgin. Following was the note, she wanted to be
inscribed on her tombstone
'born as a virgin, lived as a virgin, died as a virgin'.
The sculptor who was hired to carve this note on the tombstone was too
lethargic hence he wrote
a something which meant something similar but wasn't exactly the same..

THE MESSAGE WAS............


R E T U R N E D U N O P E N E D